Arnold Schwarzenegger - "I still love Vista, baby".

 Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby".

too short

 A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

Send me a link

You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?

No BILL

Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.

Errors

The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."

F1..F1

Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.

Girls and Domain Name

Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

Windows Frozen

A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".

Programme Ver 1.0

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.

Your comuter My Computer

A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user... 

Help desk: Double click on "My Computer". 
Lady: I can't see your computer... 
Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer. 
Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer?! 
Help desk: There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it... 
Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer?

IT Programmer money making trikcs

How do two programmers make money? 
One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.