too short

 A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

GST

Husband: My wife implemented GST years ago...
.
.
.
G.. Galti..
S.. Sirf..
T.. Tumhari hai. 😂😂😂

With Gear or Without Gear?

Mechanical  Engineer's wife Delivered a baby..
Wife Sends SMS to Husband :
"Your New Vehicle is  Launched."
Husband SMS's back  :
"With Gear or Without Gear?"😜

Windows Frozen

A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".

Loosing hair and Divorce

Wife: If you keep losing your hair at this speed, I shall divorce you.

Husband: Oh my God! And I was stupid enough trying to save them!

Full Form of WIFE

W-without I-information F-figh E-evertime

Dancing on Ringtones

Husband (angrily): Why You was delaying to accept my call?
Wife (irritated): I was dancing on ringtones.

Lipstick V/s Fevistick

Father to son: hey son! Why is your mother sitting so silent today??
.
.
.
.
Son: nothing dad.!!!!
she asked for lipstick and i heard fevistick. Father: god bless you my dear son..

In Laws

Husband & Wife had a Fight.
Wife called Mom : He fought with me again, I am coming to home.
Mom : No Dear, he must pay for his mistake,
I am coming to stay with you at your home.

Give and Take

A successful marriage is based on give & take:
Where husband gives money, gifts, dresses and wife takes it;
And whereas wife gives advice, lectures,Tensions & husband takes it!

Break ...Break...Break

When husband breaks a glass.
Wife: Break everything. Break all these bottles... break the kitchen... break the house... just break everything!
And when wife breaks a glass.
Wife: Who kept this glass here?

Burger or Kiss..!!

Wife: Can u help me in the gardening ?
Husband: What do u think I am...a gardener ?
Wife: Can u fix the door handle ?
Husband: What do you think I am... a Carpenter ?
In the evening, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed.
Husband: Who did all this ?
Wife: Our neighbour.
But he gave me 2 options.....
Either I should give him a burger or a kiss.
Husband: I am sure u must have given him a burger.
Wife: What do u think I am.......McDonalds ?!!

Investment proof

Dear Government,Kindly consider Woman Shopping Bills as an Investment Proof for income tax deductions.

FromHelpless Husband

Deal the dead wife

A Man Lost his Wife In Tsunami
One Drunk-Night ..
while standing on the Seashore, waves touching
on his feets .
He shouted to the Sea: 'No matter how many times your Waves Touch my Feet
.
.
.
I'll Never take her back .. !!
Its your mistake..
Deal With It Now...

Drunk Husband

A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. 

"Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me." Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. 

He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What's going on?" 

"Nonsense," said the wife. "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there." 

The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. You're right, you know." 

Poor Husbands

Position of a Husband Is just like a Split AC

No matter however Loud he is in the Outdoor

He is designed to remain Silent indoor

********************************

"Husband is one who is the head of the family,

but his wife is the neck,

and whichever way she turns, he goes."

*****************************

A man in Hell asked Devil:

Can I make a call to my Wife?

After making call he asked how much to pay.

Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

*********************************

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

Wife: No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever

*************************************

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

So I could have a new one every day.

********************************

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you

****************************************

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are..

Husband: You should have known it the minute

I asked you to marry me.

************************************

Wife: What will you give me

if I climb the great Mount Everest ?

Husband: A lovely Push...!

**************************************

Password

Pocket Drinker and Wife

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. 

The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."

The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife...

When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."